Behave, Little Ponies
by Starzilla
Summary: Diamond Tiara is being witchy as she usually is to the CMC, and Discord (our narrator) warns her about the Boogeyman, who eats misbehaving children. Of course, Diamond Tiara writes it off, and sure enough...Pitch has his eyes on her as his next meal. R&R!


**Behave, Little Ponies...**

**AN: Thanks to Nausicaa of the Spirits for some assistance! For those who are wondering why would I have a story in which Pitch tries to eat somebody, I was referencing one thing that many versions of the Boogeyman have in common: they eat children who don't behave. I own neither My Little Pony nor Rise of the Guardians and enjoy...if you dare!**

We open our story in a lavish living room. Reclining on a red velvet couch was a bizarre creature with a horse-like head, a right deer antler, a left goat horn, a fang, a beard, a lion right arm, an eagle's claw on the left, a lizard right leg, a goat left leg, a bat right wing, a pegasus left wing, a snake tail and tongue, and different sized pupils. He was none other than Discord, the spirit of disharmony.

"Good evening, readers," Discord greeted. "Tonight, I have a little morality tale for young fillies, whether they'd be winged or not. Remember the stories of monsters that feast upon unsuspecting victims in the night? They're actually quite true, and here's one such story." He added with a chuckle, "Oh, I know this because I was there at the beginning."

* * *

Discord's VO: _Once upon a time in Equestria, there was a bratty little filly named Diamond Tiara._

Right on cue, we meet a young pink pony with purple/white hair, and her cutie mark matched her diamond tiara. She was, of course, Diamond Tiara.

Discord's VO: _Ever since she got her cutie mark, Diamond Tiara felt like it was her "royal" duty to abuse and put down those who are quite far behind in the cutie-mark-earning business. Her three favorite victims: the Cutie Mark Crusaders._

We meet three young fillies not too far away from Diamond Tiara. The first was a yellow-green pony with red hair and a pink bow. Her name was Apple Bloom.

The second filly was a white unicorn with curly pink/purple hair. Her name was Sweetie Belle.

The third filly was an orange pegasus with messy fuchsia hair. Her name was Scootaloo.

What all three of those fillies have in common was that they all lack their cutie marks, hence their group name, the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Cutie Mark Crusaders?" Diamond Tiara called out with a smirk. "Still haven't found your life's calling?"

"Listen here, Diamond Tiara," Apple Bloom began, "we will earn our cutie marks. We just have to keep trying!"

Sweetie Belle added, "And just because you got your cutie mark earlier, that doesn't give you the right to boss us around!"

"Oh yes, I can!" Diamond Tiara said. "That's because I have this TIARA on my head!"

"Well, that tiara's not gonna fit once your head gets big from that..." Scootaloo began, but she grew confused. "Uh, what was it called?"

"Ego?" Sweetie Belle finished.

"Yeah, that's it!"

Diamond Tiara scoffed. "I'm done arguing with you. Tah-tah, blank flanks!" With that, she started to walk home.

Suddenly, a familiar face poofed in front of her. It was none other than Discord. "Why, hello, spoiled princess. Where do you think you're going?" When Diamond Tiara just went past him, he said, "Y'know, I've been watching you earlier, and that was awful of the way you treat those poor ponies."

"Why is it any of your business?" Diamond Tiara demanded.

"Oh, I just wanted to give you a warning..." Discord then added in an ominous voice, "...about the Boogeyman. You know what the Boogeyman loves more than just terrifying ponies? He loves to eat naughty fillies like yourself! And if I was you, I wouldn't be out here at night alone. And I would most certainly think about being nicer to those ponies."

"Yeah, right!" Diamond Tiara said. "Boogeymen are just old mares' tales! In other words, they don't exist!"

Discord shrugged. "Alright, fine. You win. But don't say I didn't warn you." He snapped his fingers, and he disappeared in a flash.

As sudden as Discord's disappearance, night quickly fell on Equestria, and Diamond Tiara was all alone. As much as she tried to deny it, she couldn't help but think about what Discord had said earlier about the Boogeyman.

Diamond Tiara went through Ponyville, carefully looking over her shoulders every two seconds. She jumped when she heard laughter coming from the shadows.

"Silver Spoon, is that you?" Diamond Tiara asked, trembling. All she got in response was more laughter. "Wait a minute! Is this another one of your tricks, Discord?! If so, it isn't funny!" She thought she saw something move in the shadows in an alley, and she ran over to investigate. But once she got to a dead end, she found nothing.

Suddenly, Diamond Tiara heard the same laughter from before, this time behind her. She heard someone laugh, "What a _delicious_ little child!"

"Who said that?!" Diamond Tiara said, whirling around. She gasped when she found a tall, skinny man with yellow eyes, light gray skin, spiky dark gray hair, and a black robe standing over her. She backed up against the wall in fright. "Wh-wh-who are you?"

"My name is Pitch Black, or as many people call..." the man answered. "...the Boogeyman."

Diamond Tiara trembled. "If-if you're the Boogeyman, aren't you going to get dinner?"

Pitch chuckled. "Oh, I'm sorry, but I've already had dinner." Just as Diamond Tiara was about to sigh in relief, his stomach growled a bit. He chuckled again as he added, "But...I have a little room for dessert." He pinched Diamond Tiara's foreleg. "You look plump and sweet...just what I'm looking for." Diamond Tiara was about to say something, but Pitch interrupted, "Ah, ah, don't tell me you're a good little pony. I know all the bad things you've done, and that's what attracts me. Actually, it wets my appetite."

"Get away from me, you creep!" Diamond Tiara screamed. She ran between Pitch's legs and ran out of the alley. When she got out, she panted heavily.

But Diamond Tiara heard Pitch say jokingly, "My, aren't you a lively little morsel!" She started to run off, but she found Pitch's shadow trailing next to hers on the side of a building. Pitch continued, "I've never seen such a lively young one since a little boy from Ukraine. He was not as ill-behaved as you, but he certainly tasted splendid. It took me plenty of coaxing to get him closer for me to eat him. Once he fell for my cake ploy, he ended up being the sweet treat."

Diamond Tiara continued to run as fast as she could, but she could barely escape Pitch. She crashed into his physical self, who added, "Or what about that little girl who refused to go to bed when her parents tell her to? A bath in gastric juices is the ideal cure for insomnia in my opinion. She never had to whine about going to bed again."

Pushing past him, Diamond Tiara started to head for the outskirts of Ponyville, but she got her hooves stuck in mud. She gasped when she found Pitch slowly coming towards her, and she strugged to get out of the mud. As she struggled, Pitch said, "Come now, let me help you." She tried to get away, but the mud still held her back. Pitch put his hand on her back, and he licked her cheek. "Ah, yes! Such a divine flavor! Just needs a little marinade, though."

Diamond Tiara kicked Pitch back with her hind legs, and she started to head for the Everfree Forest. She parked next to a tree, and when Pitch was nowhere to be found, she let out a sigh of relief.

"You know, I could rest for a while," an all-too-familiar voice said, snapping Diamond Tiara out of her calm state of mind. She found Pitch sitting next to her. "But that would make me less hungry, wouldn't you agree?" With a yelp, Diamond Tiara ran away from Pitch. "It seems like every time I try to strike a conversation with children, they always run away," he muttered.

Diamond Tiara ended up getting tangled in vines, just as Pitch was getting back on his feet. As she struggled, Pitch called out, "Haven't I told you that the more you run, the more you'll enhance your flavor?" He laughed a bit. "As if you're not fit to eat already."

While Pitch was coming closer, Diamond Tiara nibbled on the vines to break free. Once she was out, she continued to run, but she suddenly fell down a steep hole in the ground. She tumbled until she crashed on the ground. She found herself in a large cavern that had just a little bit of moonlight coming from above. Before she could try to escape, Pitch lifted her up in his arms.

"I forgot to ask you something earlier," Pitch told Diamond Tiara, who was squirming to get out of his arms. "Do you want to know how I eat my victims?" Diamond Tiara frantically shook her head no, but Pitch ignored her as he continued, "I've eaten them poached, scrambled, fried, sauteed, boiled, and in some occasions, raw." He smirked at Diamond Tiara and licked his lips. "And that's how I will have you. Say good night...forever." He opened his mouth wide.

"No, please! Don't!" Diamond Tiara pleaded.

On the cave wall, we see Pitch's shadow as he lifted Diamond Tiara above his head. Then he shoved her into his mouth, muffling Diamond Tiara's pleas for mercy. He pushed her further down his throat until he could swallow her whole.

Once the deed was done, Pitch let out a small, polite burp, and he coughed up all that was left of Diamond Tiara: her tiara.

* * *

We cut back to Discord in the living room. "Such a sad little story, isn't it? That Diamond Tiara didn't even stand a chance against the hungry Boogeyman. I'll repeat what many parents had said before: you'd better behave, little ponies...or the Boogeyman will come!" He finished cheerfully, "Goodbye!" He snapped his finger and disappeared.

**THE END!**


End file.
